Friday, February 10, 2012

Alzheimer's - Who Am I Now?

The last week or so has been less than wonderful, in fact I have lost most of it, every time i turnned around i was waking up. Yesterday was the worse of them all. I got a real look into the future so to say. I was not doing well mentally and as I went downstatirs I think in the morning some time i just stopped on the landing. I recall someone telling me to come down offf the statirs. i think I remained their for I am not sure how long. I know i was not sure where I was or who was talking to me and trembling, I think that is why i would not move. because i was to unstable. I got downstairs and wet to the refrigerator to get some soda to drink. This lady was talking to me and asking me how I was and all that type of shit. Finally I asked her who the fuck she was. I think she said your wife Lynn, I just looked at her and nothing. I wondered why she was in my house. I left the kitchen and went and sat down. I rememger being told what day it was by more than one person and that I seemed out of it. Finally I recognized Lynn. But the rest of the day was really messed up until late evening.

So now for the time being I have some knowing of what things are going to really be like first hand. Physically i am having more and more trouble moving.  My conversation with others is getting more difficult and less, oh what the hell, speakable cannot think of the right wording. That is becoming harder, finding the words that fit we play guessing games with me as to what I am trying to say, i guess i am refining my language, joenese, to a more pure form, which I do not undersstand.

Until next time be good to yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
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