Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Physical Aspects of Alzheimer's

By now i wolud think that we all know about the mental trials that allll of us with this disease go thru.  Not remembering people, turning around and meeeting a new friend each time, wondering where we are, who you are, where is home, my glasses hell where are my pants.  Forgetting to use the bathroom timely oooh well. Spending and forgetting we did it, driving those close to us to exhaustion and we do not even realize it and in most cases do not care.  How rotten we can get and next minute the world is rosey to us and you have the problem. The list goes on and on and on.

But there is another side to this story, not being able to walk right anymore, cannot drive because forgetting what to do (our freedom is gone). Tiring easily from practically little effort. Standing one moment the next investigating the dirt on the floor or cracks in the cement. Trembling a good deal of the time, eyes get worse, food tastess funny, sleeping is a joke, not at night we go to the daytime, walking into things because we do not see them, winding up with cuts and the like because we do not realise that we have been injured, not eating just because. This is the other side of our world and much more but my brain cell is to empty right now to remember or clogd up, get the draino.

I find listing other things for you is easier these days then really talking to you anymore. I forget what I want to say, I sit down with this whole well organized thought out post in my brain somewhere, and it never shows up when I start, it goes walking down the street. I feel like i repeat the samethings over and over, but that is what happens here in Alzheimer's land.  It seems no matter how many times I am told yes we listen that no one really hears us. You suffer and all the books about you are considered to be by experts and people who know about this disease, but folks sorry you do not have a clue to this sise of the fence. I have pretty much lost sight of your side now also. My voice is becoming quiet and running out of its one time fire, i am worn out spent and just plain tired. I sit and wait for the bus to take me home most of the time, these moments of knowing and suddenly not are incredidablly painful and frustrating.I ramble on and on and on and cannot tell you what I really am talking about most of the time.

Well friends take care and be good to yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!


NewKidontheBlogg said...

Oh Joe!

What you say here makes sense to me. It is what I am experiencing with my husband, only he can still drive because he passed the Alzheimer's driving test. Next fall he might not pass it. He can only drive with me telling him where to turn or with the GPS. Since our crash with the DUI driver, we have only one car now so I don't have to worry that he will drive when I am gone with our one car.

He is missing what he used to do like going to the gun range. He will obsess about not having his guns any more--that someone is selling them. "Get them back," he orders. He was angry a lot of today when I chose to stay home and not work. He doesn't get angry when we are with others, and I hear this from other caregivers. I am glad that he can vent with me if he needs to do that.

So often he tells me that I am not making sense to him. Unlike you (you now that things are confusing, he thinks it is me. Gradually I am being trained in how to talk to him. Then he realizes I am upset and he tells me he loves me, but doesn't know specfically what to apologize for.

He starts talking to me when I am concentrating on something else and I ask him again what he said and he can't remember. Of course that would be my fault.

Yes, this is how it is in AD world. The LORD is training me to be patient through my husband's AD.

I think of you and Lynn often. Thanks for writing here.


WildBoyzMommy said...

Joe, thank you so much for this post. I get so frustrated while caring for my mom. Then I stop and realize she is having a very hard time and I stop feeling so sorry for myself.


Peaceful said...

This post really is a help-
You are helping many of us.
I know this disease sucks but this blog is not in vain.
thank you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Joe,

I have to tell you that this is one of your greatest posts. You are sharing with us exactly how you are feeling, thinking, and most of all what you are experiencing. This is what we who are on the "other side" are looking for! Thank you so very much for sharing your innermost thoughts and please, just keep on tapping out that keyboard with whatever comes to mind at the moment. You are the greatest!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks to you and your family for sharing your story on HBO. I have used the video in classes that I teach. The "reality" teaches them in a way I could never do with lectures/discussions/etc. Thank you.