Thursday, November 12, 2009


userid = jpotocny
FirstLastName =
Email =
Message = why yu gotta be such a curmudgeon? i got on ur sight for some insight into the disease, my mom has it too. but i dont want to listen to yur ranting and bitterness.. not that i blame yu but i wont be bak. life is hard enuf for us without listening to someone elses negativity. i thank god my mom aint bitter and angry like yu. she so sad at times but othertimes she is happy too and like my own child. sorry for yu

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As many of you know I invite all comments and emails. I publish them as received. So that you all know, I get many like the above. Of course I hide their identity on emails, but did not have to with this one, them, him, her or it, did not have what it takes to give a first name. This comes from the email block I have on the right side of the blog, so you can email instead of leaving a comment, if you do not want it published.

But I have not edited it, spells like me, because I do not change comments and the like. I have said in the past and still do, bring it on as you feel.

I am sorry that your mom has joined this ever expanding World of Alzheimer’s or Dementia. It is not a fun way to live. Try reading my blog from the beginning and then judge me. You got insight, but could not hear it, your ears and eyes are closed. You think with your heart, which is wonderful, but this disease gives a damn about your heart. It wants and is taking your mom away, like it or not. I am not bitter at the disease or people in general. But I am offended, slighted and angry with those who claim to know how we feel and are making progress. Progress in what? Same info we have now existed over 100 years ago so where is the progress, I keep asking and hear nothing but silence.

I do not enjoy this disease, it will KILL me period. Not only physically, but it is the loss of me that is taking place that just rips at my very fiber.
I say to you who will not return, yes you will, as you see what takes place with you mom. Here you will hear and have heard the truth from one who suffers and is declining. From others you can find the soft gentleness that you seem to want to hear, but not the harsh reality of it all.

If you have the chance to see the HBO documentary ,The Alzheimer’s Project, pay close attention to the time of diagnosis and the immanent decline of the people and how quickly it can come and see what is ahead.
You see Josephine just pasted away a couple of weeks ago. Of course Cousin Cliff passes in the documentary (for real). I do not know about the rest how they are but sure would like to know.

Well I have said what I needed to, I did walk away from the computer before doing this because I wanted to really strike out, but I still have some control over my emotions. Not very often but, once in awhile I manage. So before I go off in another direction Good Bye for today.

God Bless You & This Country of Ours!


karen said...

Good response to bad email.

Anonymous said...

You are so right Joe...they will be back. People need to educate themselves. And personally, I believe your website is an education for me as a caregiver. If only...Alzheimer's was a "memory loss" disease as many people think.
God Bless,

kenju said...

Joe, you are right, of course. That person should have read your posts from the beginning. He apparently does not understand much about the progression of the disease. I know very little about it, except what I read here and on the site of a wife whose husband has it. I would NEVER presume to chastise you for being angry or bitter - you have every right to be.

rilera said...

Joe, thank you for refusing to 'candy coat' your journey through alzheimer's. The disease just plain sucks. We need to get to the point where those afflicted can be survivors of this disease. it's time for the researchers to get going on a cure.


P.s. I lost my Mom to ALZ in January. I miss her so much.

colleenmc said...

What a wonderful photo you have put on your blog, I love it. I feel for the pain the emailer expressed, we all know how hard it mom is much older and was diagnosed some years ago. But she is angry at the disease and her loss of independence, clear memory. Your blog expresses so much of reality. God Bless you and our country.

Anonymous said...

I find your blog has helped me understand where my dad went. I am also so glad to see someone angry about the disease. Have spent so much time with my family making this a "positive" experience, "being brave" and not "wasting tears". I come home from visits(live 500 miles away) and scream "THIS SUCKS" to my husband over and over until it doesn't hurt some much. You have exposed this disease for what it is...a demon,a monster. Thank you

Lynn said...

To one reader,
I am so sorry that you have not had an easy time. I am glad the your mother is not angry yet, and that she is happy and has good times. Joe is a happy man and he has good times. He can be a curmudgen at times too just like anyone else. I live with him. He has not been bitter about the disease. He is angry that he is losing who he is. Not that he is actually going to die. Our grandchildren will not know the man that he once was. The see a papa who falls, sleeps, gets lost, and snaps at them when they to be too much. He tries real hard not to do that but somtetimes it just happens. When they are over here and getting to be too much he goes upstairs and lays down. Papa disappears. So for now enjoy the fact that your mom is sad at times and that she is not bitter. But be prepared that that can and will change at any moment. Joe has tried to convey what it is like to have the disease. He is not the cargiver. This is all on his side of the fence, to give those of us on the caring side an insight as to what those you are taking care of feel and think like. It is not easy.

Amy said...

I thank you for writing this blog. My grandmother has Alzheimer's and Dementia. Papa never said a word. We all saw little things from time to time, but thought..she was "just getting old". She's in her 80's. It wasn't until my aunt, her youngest daughter, was ill and in the hospital a few years ago that the rest of us saw more clearly what was happening. Papa didn't want to admit that anything was wrong and he still has a very hard time with it. He wants things to be back to "normal" I can't blame him, I'd be angry and confused and sad, too, If I were losing my husband - especially after 70 years. I wish that one of them would have reached out and said something earlier or that we would've been less preoccupied with our own lives so that we could've spent more time with her, could've written memories down - SOMETHING - ANYTHING. But, I suppose there will always be wishes and things we'd do differently. The Granny we know now is not the Granny I grew up with. I wish my son would've been able to know the amazing person she really is.
Again, I thank you, for writing this blog and giving the rest of us insight into what it's like and what our own family members must be going through. I applaud you for being so open and honest about it all.

Annie said...

Joe, just keep doing what you're doing. I thank you for it.

Anonymous said...

Joe, to me you are genius and you are the winner. Look what you are doing expressing your feeling. That's healthy whether it is negative or positive feelings, it is the true feeling that you are feeling and sharing it with us. There are many people out there living without AD and they do not appreciate what life is and they do not know how to express their feelings so To me again you are the Genius.