Thursday, October 31, 2013

Hello To All

The last several weeks have been rough mentally and emotionally. As you know I and others have just finished up To Whom I May Concern - Our Side Of The Fence. This took a great deal out of all of us trying to get down what we wanted to say. We all became closer during the sessions and found it easier to talk to one another and actually be who we are now. I Can tell you this it was difficult at times for me to keep my mouth shut and row with it as they say. Every time Jan said: "You don't want to scare the Joe." I wanted to yell out the hell I don't. I want them to know the pain and missery we suffer. They think they know but they do not. But the group kept me under control, not an easy task. I can tell you hear how I feel in the language I choose to use, like it or not.

This is not a pretty world that those of us who suffer live in and die in. It russels my bussel when people say well you are living with alzheimer's and must find the good in it, and live it.  Well those asses are not in this world YET. Yes I live with it, but the hell of finding words, trying to remember what I was doing or going to do keeps getting worse.Trying to help people understand,l the anger, frustration, fear and the out right terror that comes with this is not easy. It takes me getting really angry nowadays to come here to talk to you. But you are my family and you need to know what you very well may face someday sooner or later.

I learned from a program how to live one day at a time. I now envy those that can do that. See my day only consists of now. I have no fricken idea where my mind or I will be even one hour from now, that is pretty darn scarey and makes me angry. It is hard for those around me to understand that and that pisses me off.

I hope you all go to the link in my last post and watch the video and the question and answer session that followed. Hopefully it will give you more insight and understanding.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

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