Friday, June 01, 2012

Faces and Names don't always match.

The other day i do not remember when it was my younest daughter and i were siting on the couch talking and I looked at her and could not remember her name. Which is Kathryn. I tried to say it but i just was not able to. Finally it came out and she just looked at me and said you forgot my name, tried to cover it up, but she had me dead to rites. We did laugh about it, but it bothers me. Living with us she understands more about what is happening then the other kids and she just  I think the word is placates me, and says don't worry dad it is ok.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad . You have no control over it you did
Not choose this. Your daughter knows that even if she slips from your mind, she will ALWAYS be in your heart. And that is something that Alzheimer's will never take. God bless keep writing as long as you can'!!

Doreen Platt said...

What I found most interesting about this post is "but she had me dead to rites." And no, I am not even remotely pointing that out to pick on you about it. The reason it intrigued me is that I have been dealing with the same thing for years - in fact, it was one of the first ways that I knew something was very wrong in my brain - typing homonyms of the word that I mean.

I so rarely ever see this mentioned by anyone else that I picked up on it in your blog immediately. For me, it is one of the most frustrating parts of my own dementia as I have always provided myself on my extensive vocabulary and now often my writing looks silly when I use homonyms of the word I meant. I call it my brain having a hiccup when that happens.

The other thing I find myself doing (and am wondering if you do the same thing) is sort of getting in the ball park with what I mean to say. For example, I might mean to say Labor Day and instead will say Memorial Day or instead of sink I might say stove. I won't substitute, for example, swimming for Labor Day or albatross for stove. There is always some type of connection between the words I substitute, which is why I think of it as "getting in the ball park" for the word.

Doreen Platt said...

hmmmm, I see that (despite proofreading the comment before hitting publish) I substituted provided for prided. Only connection I can see between those two words is they sound similar ... guess my brain has decided it is time to keep things interesting for me by coming up with another type of sort of "in the ball park" error for me to make ...

JUST A MOM said...

Still popping in Joe,,,, I am glad to hear your daughter is there to help out.... One moment at a time... ride the wave.. Did I tell you I am now managing 2 private homes licensed for 10 people... I get to be the one who makes sure all is being cared for the RIGHT LOVING WAY,,, HUGS

Carolyn said...

Joe & Doreen, I read both of your postings with interest because I'm just learning my mother's dementia. She, I would say, doesn't realize anything's up -- yet you both do. I'm new to this, but do you think it's possible that she doesn't realize she's asking the same question over and over, or not understanding how those papers got there? I don't want to put unnecessary stress on her, but she argues with me if I try to explain that the papers were put there by her. (and not some ghost)

Doreen Platt said...

Carolyn, I truly don't know the answer to this. There are different stages in the disease and as it progresses one does become much less self-aware than Joe and I are now. I most certainly do things that I have no memory at all of doing until I find something in an odd place and know I had to have been the one who put it there.

Everyone responds differently though. For myself, I try to look at things logically and thus if it makes no sense for anyone else to have done something I will accept by process of elimination that I did it even though I have absolutely no memory at all of having done so. Others, such as your mother, may not be able to accept that their brain has deteriorated to a point that they can do things and have absolutely no memory at all of doing so and thus have to look outside of themselves for the answer.

I would be very surprised if she realized she was repeating questions.

Doreen

Carolyn said...

Thank you Doreen. It's only Day 5 with her here in her new home, so I'm observing and trying to lay low. She got lost today and I picked her up at CarQuest, where she ended up, after the Sheriff called me. I don't want to force her dependence if I can help it. So I'm trying to gauge and assess whether she can live on her own. She's a big "no" person right now. "No, I don't want that." "No, don't wash those dishes." "No, I'm not hungry." (and she is). She's like nailing jello to a tree. Has a quick answer for everything, yet doesn't remember going to the bank with me 2 days ago to open her new account, of which she'll try to lead me into an argument over. I'm learning fast how to avoid confrontation with her.