Thursday, November 04, 2010

Caregivers and Death

I was reading a discussion on Caregiver.com about people with AD & likes dying and the time it takes and how to handle it.  First I want to say that those who say celebrate the persons life are correct. To that I add do not morn for that is self serving and arrogant. Because I feel that it is only a self pitty thing, why am I alone now, they had no right, etc.

I said my good byes long ago to my family when we knew what was going on and freely talk about my passing. Quiet frankly I cannot wait. You see on this side of the fence we cannot escape any of the ravages in anyway but death, you can get relief and put us in homes how nice for you. I have in hte past expressed my feelings on these things, we are still kept silent and still put away. Well while I am alive and can I hope I promote some real thought over this home putting crap. I kind of understand, you are 78 and the only one to cae for your loved one, home may be or is the right place. My bitch is with the offspring, how would have it been when you got sick mom and dad just sent you away or sent you to other family members and they passed you on, because it casused extra time of your day to care. Think about it. I know my wife and I have been there every step of the way for our kids, sickness, catatrosphic illnesses, major accidents, arrests, drug and alcohol problesm we have seen them all but have been there, no matter how old they have gotten or how much we did not want to be involved, but they are our family and we do what families do, take care of each other.
I guess no one really hanlesd death well that remains behind, but just think of us that go ahead  of you we are set free, no more of the confusion, frustration, pain, forgettfulness, not know who or what anything or anyone is, no more diapers, rubber sheets, being hand fed or laying in bed all the time. I am wiery of the fight and now just let it work its job so that I can win in the end by passing. I reallly hate this feeling great and in control one moment and the nothing makes sense and seems to be real or knowing where the fuck I am or what I am doing.

I need to stop. Take care of yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!
joe

PS> to those that voted I applaud you, to those that did not and could have keep you mouths shut you gave up the right to say anything. Maybe next time you will get your head out of your ass and use your right to vote.

5 comments:

Cheryl said...

Hi Joe,

Thanks so much for sharing those thoughts. I agree with everything...the family, the voting...everything.

My 79 year old mother cared for my father until she was exhausted and his needs went beyond her physical ability to help him. He was transferred to the AD facility where they live, which was very nice comparitively from what I hear...it was like living in a hotel. My mother went every day to get him up and stayed until after lunch when he fell asleep. So even though she needed the help from the other caregivers, she was still there by his side to feed him and take care of him until the very end. My siblings helped when they could and were needed. It was frustrating for me to be on the opposite coast unable to help as much as I wanted to. If only all families could be so dedicated as my mother was to him...

God bless you and your caring family

Cheryl

justAlan said...

I'm glad I found your blog. As a dementia caregiver in a hospital, I'm still learning, trying to be good at what I do. Thank you for making the great effort to express yourself.

JUST A MOM said...

All I got it this,,,,, :^)

keep writing

presstoe said...

My dad was an a-hole to me and when he needs help he can look elsewhere. Cheers to real life and good parents. It sounds like you were a great dad!

Be as well as you can!

presstoe said...

You're right Joe, you told me not to be angry. My brother told me that dad wants to live with him when he gets too old and sick. That's a good thing because I sure don't want to do the daddy diaper change! It's a joke because I'm a nanny.

Much thanks and love for your contact and keep on blogging!!!