Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I greet you this day not really knowing why. It seems that the days are starting to have little meaning anymore. I try to keep a sense of humor about things, but there is nothing humorous about what is happening to me or those around me. I find myself staring off into space or just at nothign these days nore amd more. Things seem to mean little anymore to me and I just do not know how to handle these feeelings and moods. Things keep slipping farther and farther away from me.

I have tried to make this blog as time has gone by a place for meeting and exchangin thoughts and felings on dementia in general. I gave the site a chat room for a year that I paaid for open 24/7 for whoever wanted to talk not just to me but to others a failure. I opened a direct chat line to communicate whichcost me over$80 a month so we could talk, 5 people, a failure. I invited over 25 people to blog here because of their involvement with dementia, that has been a failure, I even set up Yahoo Messenger for instant chatting that too went down the tubes, I even have tried skype without any success. Comments I have gotten, emails I have gotten, but I guess my expectations (premeditated resentments) should not have been. I have removed all of the about except comments and email.

I am trying to give u articles as I find them that maybe of interest. I have a feeling that will be of no avail. Bitter yes I am, angry and pissed, yes, at those who come and cannot even take time to comment yes, but most of all at ME, for especting and planning and most of all trying to plan the outcome.This fricken disease plays a lot of games with your head and sometimes I am not even sure of what I am writting, minutes from now I will forget and I guess for me that is ok. Keeping my angry under anytype of control is getting difficult, increase in meds is not helping, well so much for my bitching, like most things it will get me nowhere fast.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!!!!
joe

2 comments:

JUST A MOM said...

Hi Joe, I am sorry I am late commenting. I LOVE coming and beign able to get an insight of this thing from your inside view. I think the guest spot for me was one of a first lettign peopel know MY side of it. BUT my side of it is the same day after day,,, I have several people in my care and they are at differant stages of this thing. I HATE IT I truly live the same day after day, so really feel I have nothing to add. I DO love being able to come and hear YOUR side. I truly believe it has helped me with my care for my people. Keep your chin up and know you ARE loved out here.

presstoe said...

Hi Joe, as you know I found your blog just recently, and it's great.

Getting a chat room to work out is a very difficult thing. I go on a self help forum with something like 80,000 plus members and there are never more than 5 people chatting at once... sometimes we'll have a fun discussion, but mostly people enter the chat room, no on is in there and then they say "this sucks" and leave. The lack of involvement in your chat room wasn't really a failure, that's just what happens on many websites.

You're doing the right thing continuing to blog and inviting people to comment. I agree with "Just a Mom" that sometimes people don't have anything to say. Since I found your blog I've read a lot of it and only commented a few times in comparison to how much I have read.

I get depressed and when I'm depressed everything I do feels like a failure. You're suffering with a horrible disease and have every right to be depressed, so the glass is always less than half empty... Your blog is a success, so you got one thing going for ya!

Take Care- God bless,

Carey