Monday, June 28, 2010

My Forum

This is my forum to tell you how I feel and for you to talk back to me. It has always been my goal to make this not just about me, but about those that travel my journey before and after me. For you that care for us to tell how you feel. For those who contribute to leave posts on their take and views. I personally feel that my time to the line is close and I am having difficulty battling that.While I fight it, I know inside and have accepted the fact the fight is lost, but I am an honory bastard and just have to fight for the sake of it, win or loose does not matter, I just will not give this disease the satisfaction it wants. It is going to have to stomp on me and its shoes are getting heavier. Sometimes my posts are less than kind, but this is not a kind disease and I am trying to make people think about us in this world as real people not someone in a looking glass. This is my only forum to do that in. I feel caged and somewhat worthless at this point and that feeling will probbably woresen as time goes on. Well so much for now.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

4 comments:

Mrs. Sew and Sew - Karen said...

Thank you for your post. Your information is so helpful. I am grateful for your honesty. God bless you and your family Joe. karen

Madam Moonchild said...

One of the things I appreciate about your blogs is the fact you are pissed off about it. I would be pissed off too. This disease robs one of their independence. I can't even fathom how extremely frustrating it must be. I appreciate you sharing and just know that others will benefit from the unfortunate card you have been dealt.

Peace be with you

Deb said...

Joe,
Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences. You have no idea how much you are helping other families going through similar experiences.

My husband was diagnosed in 2007 but that explained what had been going on for the previous few years. He refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem and insists that other people's actions are the problem. I read your postings to try to gain insight into what he is going through, to help me understand him and find ways to try to help him.

My husband withdrew from everyone and everything back in 2005. His only desire is to sit in the same room day after day with the TV and have me sit there too.

The hardest thing for me is that I feel I have lost my best friend and companion as we can no longer carry on a conversation without great frustration setting in. So we exist together. This disease is not something he is going through but something WE are going through.

I am feeling so alone and isolated but your postings help me through our journey, wherever it may lead.

God bless you AND your family!! Keep up the good work with your postings and remember, your sharing is such a tremendous assistance to a lot of us you may never know.

Heather said...

I am not sure that this will help but maybe it will. The hardest time for my dad was when he was aware of what he was losing and where he was going. He is at a point now that he seems comfortable where he is, in a world of his brain's making. The hard part now is for us--his family--because he is not where we are. Although he still knows my sister, my mother and my children I am lost to him. That doesn't mean he isn't glad for me to visit and take him out in the gardens or for a soda and candy at the cafe but I am no longer his daughter just someone nice who spent some time with him. Before, when he had some idea as to what was happening he would cry and yell and tell me how sorry he was. He was scared of going places and frightened at times for reasons unknown. Now he has places to go(he was leaving for England last week) and people to catch up with(memories of people long lost) that he somehow gathers comfort from.
How does this help--I'm not sure other than to say I perceive my father at peace now, the struggle and anger is mine.