Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Expectations

I have been doing this blog for a number of years now. Trying to tel you what it is like on this sid of the fence. I am begining to wonder if what I am saying is getting old and has no meaning. See I belong to a group study and we have a saying, "EXPECTATIONS ARE PREMEDITATED RESENTMENTS"! I feel those resentments because I seem to get far less comments or emails. That is my proble because I am expecting something in return for my posts, really I am not entitled to any replies. This is my story with the disease and only my point of vew, such as it maybe.

I met with my shrink today and we kind of got into it and I told him you do not know what is in this world in which I live now, you are on the other side, you are one of them. I know that my progresion has been seemingly slow and I have been well contained for lack of another word. But that is only because of the brain power that I possed when this all started, I could control a lot of what was happending and hide it, I am no longer able to do that, it (AD & FTD) are doing their jobs very well now and the fox can no longer out run or manuver them. Thank goodness my friends and family are around to guide me or I would be totally lost. I do not even want to leave my house anylonger or really take part in life, I am retreating into myself where I feel safe. Whether this is part of the proscess or not I do not know, all I know is that it is happening.

Take care of yourselves.

God Bless & Keep You & This Country of Ours!
joe

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I for one don't think your posts are getting old at all. Anything you write about is very interesting. I think my mother (who had alzheimer's) was also able to hide her's for year because of her intellect. Unlike you she never spoke much about what it was like, so I find your writings extremely helpful in understanding the whole process. I also have to admit I want to know what it's like so I can be on the lookout for symptoms in myself! I'm sorry you are having to go through all this. Keep writing, please. Diane

Mrs. Sew and Sew - Karen said...

Joe, I agree with Diane. I also find your post very interesting. I know my Dad is going to be going down this road. I just wish he would get help.

I am sorry that you are not feeling like going out of the house. I am somewhat a hermit myself-a homebody for sure. Try to stay involved Joe it is important I think!

I am glad you have Lynn and the family to guide you when you need them.

Take care and please keep writing. Karen

mmoc said...

Joe, I also get a lot of value out of your posts and ask you to keep writing, as long as it doesn't give you more stress. Your descriptions of how you are feeling give me an insight into how my Dad must be feeling (and encourage me to ask him how he is feeling). My Dad never talks about AD. I don't even know if he knows he has it. I think he does but it is not in his personality at the moment to talk about it. Thanks for giving him a voice. Even if you think you are not expressing yourself well, you should know that the reader can still understand, to a large extent, from the words you can get down - you are still a great writer. Thank you.
- Margaret

Jan said...

Hi Joe,
I am brand new to your blog, after watching the HBO Alzheimer's Project episode you were in. It will take me some time to go back over what you've already written so I don't know if you're posts are getting old, but I am following you now and I hope you will keep writing. What you have to share is important, now and in the future.

Anonymous said...

Joe I started reading your blog after my Mother who had Alzheimer's passed away, I was not there to be with her or help her through any part of her ordeal. I started reading your blog so I could gain a better understanding of what she must have thought and went through.

I now have a sister with Alzheimer's and was able to help her a lot after having read your blogs and the info you would give us web sites we could go to for information.

We became friends and I left many comments hoping one day to get on your blog via the comment, I felt it would be an honor I would be proud to have.

Please understand there are many reasons that people sometimes slack off I for one have Parkinson's and lately it has been doing a number on me but am slowly crawling out of the hole.

Keep writing we would be lost with out you.

Friends
D. & Gator

Mary said...

Hi there Joe.....you better keep on writing, cause I need you by my side on this journey we're on! I totally agree....I love staying in my safe hidey hole. But I'm refusing to let this disease win quite yet! So we go out and enjoy life for a day and then I can sit for a day or two and let my brain unscramble.
Many hugs
Mary

Johnny O'Neil said...

Hi Joe, I'm new on here also. The internet/blogs are for keeping all of us informed. Your doing a good thing! Thank you.

Hedy said...

Hi Joe,
I've been reading your blog for about a year now. My mother was diagnosed with AD 4 yrs ago. Without your insight, I would not have had the knowledge or courage to confront her doctors as I do. An example...last weekend my mother was taken to the ER for respiratory problems. When she became agitated (after 6 hrs), the response from the doctors were to sedate and restrain her to the bed. At that point, I made them release her with a perscription for antibiotics. Back in the day, I assumed doctors were the "All-Knowing". Not so anymore... Anything that you can share means the world to me, as my mother is no longer able to communicate. God Bless.
Caregiving Daughter in San Diego

JUST A MOM said...

Please stop by and read something on my blog.

Cheryl said...

Hi Joe...I love your blog!
You still inspire me with your daily courage and fiestiness.
I go back and read some of your entries again and again. It helps me reflect back to our time caring for Mom during her battle with dementia. Mom hid her symptoms for as long as she could, and only shared her feelings about what was happening to her with a great deal of prodding. Your blog helped my sister and I tremendously with a look into the bubble. (My sister and I called the place Mom went, "The Bubble") I think that you are a treasure because of your ability and willingness to share of your experiences...Please keep up the good work Joe..

Lots of Love, Cheryl (Arlene's Daughter)

senior care said...

Joe Nice Blog! I will stop by and visit. Well thought out.