Friday, June 27, 2008

You Got To Be Kidding!


Recently I was told this about me telling you about my life with this disease. The individual even found it funny and without purpose. Wel that is ok, because I am here for me and for those who care for people like me and are like me. This is not fun and games this is real life. It iss difficult to lay out your life and how you feel. I once started sometime ago I cannot remember when posting my life story on a site, I am but one person in over 6 billion on this earth, who would care. I started getting so many emails I could not go through one days worth in a day. I was blunt and just as forthwritht in the story as I try to be here. You know when you just roll out of bed and land on the floor and are not sure why you are there I try to laugh, yes I do that. I walk into wals, sit on the floor and just fall over.I hate going past my mailbox alone, it scares me, I am leaving my security place and I actually run back, because I am afraid I will forget where it is. Sometimes you can talk like the wind with folks other times you just stare and wonder who they hell is this person and what are they doing here. The problem is you have no control over it.wrighting tihis takes all my ability to consentrate and generally I go to sleep afterwards, my brain fills like it has been crushed, I like some that live in this World of Mine do not want to be here anymore, it hurts to look at those you know, but you cannot talk to them, because the brain and mouth cannot find each other.Emotions are a real mountain, boy when they start to flow, their is no stopping them until you are tottally wiped out. The pains of the past that you thought were dealt with and now at rest, rear their ugly heads with a vengance. That is while early on in this ordearl I tried to contact old friends and put things to rest, without telling them what was happening, I got yeah I kind of remember but forget it doesn't matter, thanks but don't call again and out right anger, well that is the way it goes. If I have the time and my brain stays with me or me with it I think I shall post in segements my life story, for me. I getting lost now so good bye my friends till next time.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours!
Joe

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