Tuesday, April 03, 2007

It Has Been Awhile

I have not posted is ome time now. I keep forgetting two. One of my dearest friends recently losst her farther and I forgot to send her my sympathies. I stop one of my meds and that was a big mistake, thoought I was dying, but apparently God nor the Devil want me at this time. Life is geetting a little more confusing and frustrating for me, I don't even answer my emails the way I used to. I feel like a captive in my own mind, body and home. The need to lash out grows stonger each day and is becoming a little harder to manage day by day. Part of this is the disease part of it is myoun defects of my character. Do not know which is becomeing the more dominate part. I have been alone in life, but never felt lonelly, I now do. There is sadness in my sould and being and the tears and emotions come more easily. It seems being loved and cared for does not matter all thaaat muc anymore, because I am solwy starting not to care for me or this life anylonger. Well enough of my pitty party, life goes on, until.

God Bless You and This Country of Ours
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